Entertaining thoughts that I’d be better off not, yet I imagined doing so many things last night walking in the cold. Past an Italian restaurant and saw a date and I dressed in casual evening cloths, being told the evening specials by the waiter decked out in jacketless black tie apparel. I order a bottle of Black Opal Cabernet Sauvignon and two glasses. The room is dimly lit with yellowish candle light making blue eyes appear green; somehow she knows this is turning me on…I can tell from her smile, I’m in trouble.
After approving the Bordeaux, the wine is poured, we clink glasses and indulge. That first flush of bitter-sweet tinge saturates our tongue with the monition of the up coming altered state. A wonderful beginning to a romantic evening.
All of these thoughts raced through my mind in the few seconds I was standing outside the restaurant staring at a couple enjoying their wine before realizing they’re staring back at me. Now the feeling that they can read on my face the realization that I will never experience an enjoyable evening like that again. How do I do this from now on? How can I show a woman a romantic evening without liquor?
This is something I’ve never heard discussed at A.A. meetings. All they say is, ‘No relationships for the first year.’ Yah, right.