Saturday, June 02, 2007

Memory is your Enemy

For someone who have made many mistakes in life, memory is your enemy. I just got off the phone with my ex-wife June W., who I still love and am glad to still have relationships with, but she doesn’t understand out history.

My memory of our relationship is in question. Her interpretations of my actions are in question. She is a master at manipulation: she will always turn any issue into her own favor.

I always thought that if I became sober that I could see through this. I did for a time, but it didn’t help out relationship. All it did was tell me that she could manipulate the facts of a situation to fit her needs faster than I could.

So, I became sober. I thought that the most wonderful woman in the world would respect that. In that respect, I thought maybe we could still have, you know, a relationship. Well, yah, I got laid, and I still talk to her over the phone. But no, she’s gone and I’ve lost her. Our time to be together has past. This is the way she feels and I don’t blame her.

But I was once married to a woman ten years my senior ten years ago.

Without Wax,


Fenris_ulf said...

Being able to move on is a difficult but important step. Trying to find the happiness in past events is near impossible. You need to look forward and find happiness. The world is always moving so things are never the same as in the past. Don't let June define your happiness. She can be part of it if she wishes or not part of it is she wishes.

Trudging said...

Speaking of memory, I remember that church when I worked in downtown MPLS. As far as the women in your life, keep looking ahead brother.