Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Twister

June W. has been in three twisters.

Before I moved from Southern California to Minnesota, I watched that movie over and over. I thought about what it would be like for someone to experience this type of trauma. Although she never experienced the fictional loss, she felt the utter fear.

I watched it recently and felt the love for her again, strongly; and the pain of failure. I messed up. I didn’t know how I messed up at that time, because I was under the influence, but know now.

We had a connection, like no other. She is a fine woman, a lady, and my best friend. If it wasn’t alcohol that destroyed our relationship, then it must’ve been a lower power. My higher power, my father, is my guide. But, if there’s a strong force, there must be a weaker force. Everyone talks of the higher power. No one ever talks of the evil force, the lower power.

I was sober for more than eight months, and it struck me. It waited, until I was weak. It didn’t take over my body, which is still in tack, but it took over my will. No, not my will. It was much more sneaky. It took over my desire not to fight off the first drink. Well, after that, it was all over. The first drink had me.

Back to June, she is the finest lady I’ve ever met. She is a thoughtful, pleasant, organized, shapely, eyes to die for, smile that will sell snow cones to Eskimos, and a personality that just draws you in.

If you ever loose a woman like that, you just know you’ve screwed up. She is well liked by all who know her. She has good contacts with her family. She is strikingly beautiful. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

And I screwed it up by drinking. I will never find a finer lady than June.

After what I’ve done to her, I can never expect her to ever say the words, “I love you”, again. She hasn’t, and I know why. Guys, if you ever find a fine lady like the one I’ve described, you better take a look at what you’re doing wrong, because don’t ever loose her. She is fine.


Without Wax,

3 comments:

Designer Girl said...

Honey, you are hanging on to the dream, and it's time to wake up. You and June W. are over. She has moved on. You need to move on, too, and start living a life you like and can be proud of. Don't let what-might-have-been-if-only-things-were-different hold you back now. ((Hugs))

Trudging said...

Ditto!!

Rabbi Dale said...

Tell June what you told the blog

I hope you the best

Do not listen to the Nimrods of life.

If there was no dreams no hopes we still be walking , never been to the moon and never cured a child of a fatal disease.

With dreams and hopes we strive to better ourselves, we strive to better our world.
Mazal Tov