I chose to drink after finding my own place. I don’t know why I chose to drink. It’s solved and caused problems. Memory problems are the best: you get to avoid them. This, in turn, causes other problems, like managerial responsibilities. Booze does that. You can avoid serious review incidents, but eventually it will catch up to you.
I have a man that needs to be fired and I don’t know how to do it. I can’t do it hung over or drunk, so I must do it sober. The fact that I can’t easily fire him as a manager frustrates me; and I have to admit that I drink about it.
You know what would be a better solution: one without alcohol.
Doing it alone has been the way that I’ve survived for the last six months. I think it’s time to walk over to an AA meeting and ask for help. But I’m afraid I’ll run into zelots that preach the Big Book way. I’ve been down that path; real honest communication is the only way it works.
Don’t get me wrong; the Big Book has true honest experiences that came out good. We can all learn from them. All the stories in the Big Book are written by people that have come to the conclusion that their horror stories of using can help others. I’ve got them too; I’m just not ready yet to put them down on paper. June knows most of these horrible stories probably better that myself and I’d really like to partner with her before putting this all down in words. This is one of the promises that the Big Book describes: although I didn’t get to patch things up completely, she’s still a friend.